Under a thundercloud sky portending
a drenching deluge I walked along
the rushing river skirting the town.
At the water’s edge marled grey rocks
mingled with pale ochre rocks all smoothed
by millennia of flowing waters.
Dark currents swirled in deep midstream
reflecting darker clouds.
I walked through ragged grass
along the water’s edge
careless of the nearing downpour.
Feeling caged in my house
I had to walk.
I had hoped to stay for life
in this country town but was cast aside
redundant, like so many others
in this rural county.
Job applications brought nothing.
Dread of the future, of packing up
and moving, finding a city home,
surged over me in waves
with grief for friends and workmates
and my little country home.
I would have to leave them all.
Fears of new employment,
of interviews and agencies
paralysed my thoughts.
How would I do it all ?
Some years later I passed through
that little town but could not
walk along that river.
When I looked at it
dread, grief fear welled up in me
as if it were only yesterday
that I walked along that river.
I turned and walked away.